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A Journey Back to Clarity - Leaving a Kundalini Activation Training Brand. A few years ago, I participated in a Kundalini Activation training at a famous big brand. At the time, the experience felt mystical and meaningful. Over time, however, I noticed that the founder of the program was increasingly becoming a central, almost guru-like figure — something I didn’t fully recognize at first. Throughout the training, I found myself questioning my own perception. At moments I wondered whether the dynamics resembled what people often describe as a cult. But many of the signs I had expected weren’t obviously present. There were no constant demands for more money or strict contracts — just a one-time training fee and what appeared to be voluntary participation. Because of that, I often doubted my own concerns. Still, a quiet uneasiness stayed with me. There were small incidents along the way that made me question things. Some participants experienced serious emotional or psychological distress during the training, to the point that we were worried about their lives. Others were struggling with intense psychological distress that went far beyond what I would consider a healthy or supportive process of personal growth. Many people appeared deeply overwhelmed. When that happened, the suffering was often reframed as part of the spiritual process or even as a big achievement one should be grateful for. The teachings emphasized non-duality and the dissolution of the ego. In principle, these are ideas that exist in many spiritual traditions. Yet the way they were practiced in this environment sometimes seemed to bring people into states of emotional numbness or detachment from daily life. Looking back now, I can see how some participants, including myself, struggled to stay grounded while engaging with these ideas so intensely. Over time, many people became deeply committed to the trainings and the experiences they promised. I witnessed individuals returning again and again, sometimes investing large sums of money. Some participants spent tens of thousands of dollars attending programs repeatedly. For a few, it appeared to become the central focus of their lives, and some even went into debt in order to continue. I attended one of the non-duality weekends myself. At the time, the experience felt difficult to describe, almost like being “in the clouds.” It was framed as a sign of spiritual connection or expansion. But afterward, something in my everyday functioning changed for the worse. For about a week, I felt disconnected from my normal capacities, my body, and the world around me. Simple things like reading became difficult, and it felt strangely hard to access language or do anything. In retrospect, it resembled a deep depressive state that left me unable to properly participate in my own life. What made it even more confusing was that the brand had been featured in well-known publications such as Women’s Health, Vogue, and other magazines. Seeing the brand presented in respected media outlets made me question my own perception even more. I often told myself: Maybe it’s just me. At one point, rumors began circulating that the founder had approached women in the community in ways that blurred the line between spiritual mentorship and intimate relationships, as well as harassment. As these conversations surfaced, several women began sharing experiences of harassment, while others spoke about situations they had witnessed during in-person trainings. Witnessing this created a growing tension inside me. On the one hand, I wanted to trust the framework that had been presented to us. On the other hand, my own perception kept telling me that something about the situation felt deeply troubling. This eventually led to a rupture within the community. Some people decided to leave, while others encouraged the group to remain focused on unity, repeating phrases like “we are here for love and light” or reminding everyone not to create conflict. For me, it ultimately became a moment of deep reflection. I realized that even if I could not fully understand or change what was happening around me, I needed to listen to my own inner signals and leave. Leaving the brand was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. It meant stepping away from a community and a belief system that had once felt meaningful to me. It also meant facing fear, uncertainty, and the possibility that everything I believed at that time might not have been true. Besides all the fear, what was happening was peace. Leaving allowed me to slowly reconnect with myself. My health improved, my clarity returned, and I regained a sense of personal freedom that I hadn’t realized I had been losing. Looking back, I see the experience as a complex chapter of my life, one that taught me a great deal about discernment, boundaries, the importance of trusting one’s own perception and so much more. If I could offer one reflection to anyone who might find themselves in similar environments, it would be this: spiritual ideas can be inspiring and powerful, but they should never replace your own sense of well-being and integrity. Staying connected to your body, your emotional health, and your personal values matters deeply. Sometimes the quiet voice inside that says something isn’t right is not a failure of faith — it is a form of wisdom. And listening to that voice may be the first step back to yourself.