We are wired to move away from discomfort. Spiritual ideas or practices can provide quick relief, but sometimes this comes at the cost of deeper healing.

Positive thinking, detachment, or surrendering everything hard to God or “the Universe” can become strategies to repress feelings we don’t want to face.

Taking the role of the healer, seeker, or the “chosen one” can soothe feelings of not feeling enough, not feeling worthy.

Many people who grew up carrying disproportionate responsibility for others as children or who were labelled “the strong one” unconsciously continue this role in spiritual contexts. They were taught that their needs don’t matter — or that vulnerability is unsafe — and so spirituality can become a place to perform strength and composure rather than confront their own pain.

Believing that everything is predestined can feel safer than making difficult choices. Spiritual concepts can give security and meaning to everything bad that is happening in life. They explain anything that feels scary, frustrating and uncontrollable. Over time, however, this can come at the cost of emotional processing, personal agency or even necessary real-world change.

Some people falsely learnt that pain is necessary for transformation. But this belief keeps them stuck in a painful loop they mistake for suffering. Over time, the emotional and neurological highs that come from suffering can become addictive.

We live in an increasingly interconnected world where everything influences everything. It is becoming harder to see how all these moving pieces fit together – and even more difficult to stay grounded while being exposed to the constant stream of sad and overwhelming news. Yet, being aware of global dynamics instead of avoiding them is becoming more and more necessary. To cope with these uncertainties and find explanations, it is easy to see why more people are turning to spirituality. But for many it becomes a search for comfort instead of clarity. A way of adopting beliefs and practices that soothe the discomfort rather than addressing its deeper roots. It's hard to face and grapple with the truth. Instead of supporting grounded action, spiritual bypassing can discourage responsibility and meaningful response—ultimately reinforcing the very helplessness it seeks to avoid. To cope with these uncertainties and find explanations, it is easy to see why more people are turning to spirituality. But for many it becomes a search for comfort instead of clarity. A way of adopting beliefs and practices that soothe the discomfort rather than addressing its deeper roots. It's hard to face and grapple with the truth. Instead of supporting grounded action, spiritual bypassing can discourage responsibility and meaningful response—ultimately reinforcing the very helplessness it seeks to avoid. If you’re interested in well-researched models that offer a deeper overview and more understanding, we highly recommend exploring the VUCA and BANI models. Research shows that geopolitical events, – from specific, local, infrastructural to wider, international policies – influence how we perceive and move in the world. Add to that the news overload from the media and social media and suddenly we are aware of every bad thing happening everywhere. We have moved from a VUCA world (volatile, uncertain, chaotic and ambigious) into BANI dynamics (brittle, anxious, non-linear and incomprehensible). Realities now move at a pace and scale that are increasingly impossible for the human mind (and nervous system) to fully grasp at once.

We seek to belong — especially those who have experienced a lot of exclusion, loneliness, and bullying in the past. If that’s been our experience and we finally find a group that welcomes us, the need to belong can become so strong that you prioritize acceptance over authenticity or critical thinking (Ryan & Deci, 2000).